Booking A Hotel

I understand that grammar and punctuation are optional on the internet, but isn't forbidding the use of punctuation taking it a bit too far?

eLong.net is breaking this English teacher's heart.

Hohhot, here we come!

Stick and I decided to go to Inner Mongolia for a few days for the National Day holidays. Stick, being the wonderful boyfriend that he is, responded to "Wanna visit Mongolia?" much the way he responded to "Wanna move to China?" ("Ok... Can I bring my computer?")

Posting may be sporadic because I'm not sure how much 'net access I'll have and how much time we'll want to spend uploading photos during our trip.

Mr. and Mrs. Pancake

This is where Stick and I go for lunch most days. All the delights of crispy egg pancakes, and one of the cleanest carts I've seen.

They also have an amazing, superfast pancake-making rhythm. Mrs. Pancake rolls the dough, then Mr. Pancake fries it with an egg while Mrs. Pancake takes the last fried pancake and fills it with lettuce and sauce, and Mr. Pancake takes the money.

I kind of wanted to take more pictures, but Mr. and Mrs. Pancake have been really nice about not treating us like tourists or zoo animals, so I didn't want to act like a tourist and treat them like zoo animals.

Non-Standard

I asked my TA a Chinese-language question this morning, and she managed to suppress her laughter long enough to answer me. My Chinese is pretty bad, the tones trip me up, and also I learned to speak in Yantai, and Yantai-hua is annoyingly different from standard Mandarin.

Great, I know just a few words, and when I say them, I sound like a hick.

"Sometimes, in the rural areas, the Chinese is not very good," my TA said. "It's..." she paused to think of the word. "Substandard."

I would have gone with "nonstandard," but substandard works. Yes, that's exactly how one would describe my Chinese.

One of everything, please.

The cocktails menu at the Beijing Outback Steakhouse and me.

International Trade Relations

We went out for a wonderful payday dinner of Western food, but after dinner, Christina began to feel ill, so we decided to grab an immediate cab home. Unfortunately, we came out of the Outback Steakhouse in the ritzy Sun Dong'An shopping area, and the cabbies were quoting really outrageous figures to take us back. One of them suggested 100 RMB to go home, and when I said that was too expensive, he asked me to say a price.

"60 kwai," I said.

"10," he responded.

"No, no, you've got it all wrong. You say the higher numbers, I say the lower numbers,"

I don't think he understood my English but my confused look must have conveyed my message, because he amended his statement.

"10 Euro."

"Honey! He thinks we're European!" I told Stick. We're usually mistaken for Brits* when we're traveling... I like to think it's the good manners, but it's probably the bad teeth.

"If I had 10 Euro," Stick said, "I'd buy that taxi and drive you home myself."

We decided to take the subway back.


*Stick finds this statement misleading and so I would like to state that neither of us thinks that the UK has given up the pound and adopted the Euro.

Meeting Of Minds

It's sort of an expat joke that the only information determined at a Chinese meeting is the time and place of the next meeting. I think I even saw that on of those "You know you live in China, when..." lists. I was just in an hour-long meeting at which the only thing determined was that we are meeting again at the same time and same place next week to discuss... something.

It was actually a charicature of a Chinese meeting. I got to school at 9:38 for a 9:40 meeting, and I was the only person in the assigned room. My mindset was more Hurray! I can drink cold water without being reminded that it's bad for my health! than Where is everybody? Then the level 1 TAs and Christina, the other American teacher, showed up, and then surprise! so did the director of the English department, and then the foreign-teacher liason.

Our first order of business was making sure everyone knew that we were meeting today. Yes, really. We were all intensely questioned on when and where and from who we found out about the top secret resistance organization first grade teachers' planning meeting.

Christina's TA doesn't quite speak English, which put poor Christina in a weird position when the TA insisted that she'd told Christina about the meeting far in advance and Christina, shocked and unprepared, tried to explain that this was dropped on her at 9:39 this morning.

Our second order of business was making sure that everyone had their lesson plans to discuss. Another drastic failure, because Christina hadn't written a week's worth of lessons in 60 seconds, and the Chinese teachers weren't told they were meant to bring suggested lesson plans for our classes. (My TAs and I all thought that we'd be chatting about the keeping all the first grade classes on the same level)

Fortunately, the detailed questioning took so long that we ran out of time before anyone could see that my lesson plans were sort of in draft form.

Further Progress of the Tienanmen Flowers

A Little Tofu With The Peppers

They weren't kidding when they said this dish was spicy.

Important Words

Another English teacher's Chinese lesson on the staffroom blackboard.

Street Shopping

My coworker Christina asked me yesterday why I would walk past the supermarket to get fruit at a street stand. I think I said something about it being more Chinese, but I didn't really have an answer.

Yes, the fruit carts are a little less expensive, and the prices becomes cheaper and cheaper as the laowai prices come down, but I don't know if that's the reason to walk the extra block. The fruit is a little fresher... again, it's not really a big difference.

Ihe main reason is that my Chinese is terrible. The guy who's sitting outside all day with his bikecart full of grapes has a lot more time to deal with my bad pronunciation than the hourly supermarket cashier. (Sometimes they like to use this free time to bargain, which is kind of like a test of how fast I can count backwards in Chinese.) The cashier doesn't care if she makes the sale or not. But the bikecart guy, or popcorn girl, or any other street vendor, has an interest in selling the product, so they really will go out of their way to try to understand the disjointed phrases that I call Chinese.

A Chicken In Every Pot

Last night, we celebrated Moon-Viewing Night by trying out a street hotpot place. It's a hole-in-the-wall during the day, but at night, they set up flimsy portable tables with propane burners and vats of boiling soup.

So we get a table, and a menu, and I THOUGHT I was ordering a chicken broth. The waiter said something about chicken in the soup and I was all "Yeah, ok, fine," because he seemed to be repeating "chicken" and "soup pot".

Then the soup came, and there was a headless, plucked chicken sitting in the pan! Oh, THAT'S what he was saying! Poor Christina was really creeped out by it, and I felt a bit stupid because the waiter had so clearly tried to tell me what was up! If only Chinese had an article, so that I could tell "chicken in your soup" from "a chicken in your soup". Although I probably wouldn't understand anyway.

Apparently Beijing hotpot comes with a little dish of seasoning to drop into your broth for flavor. The waiter, who was probably hating his job more and more as the evening went on, said something about cilantro. I knew it from ChinesePod (Thanks, John!), it's xiangcai in Chinese, but I thought he said xiangcao, which is vanilla, and for a horrible moment I thought I'd ordered a giant bowl of vanilla-headless chicken soup

When he came back with the dish of cilantro and scallions, I caught on. Then I ordered other food for the soup, based on what I saw other people eating. It took forever to come, I'm not sure if the're always slow or if the waiter was in the kitchen psyching himself up to deal with my bad Chinese. (Just kidding.) (I hope.)

The food was delicious. Hotpot is essentially make-your-own-soup, which means you can put exactly what you want it in. No mystery meat! Only the vegetables you want! And if you don't order Chicken Carcass Soup, all the meat is boneless, too.

Apple Art

Stick and I stopped by a fruit stand on the way back from Pancake Man, and we noticed that the vendor had some kind of crazy art apples. Is this a Mid-Autumn Festival alternative to mooncakes? Or are they everyday apples that I just never notices before?

While we were excitedly showing each other Buddhas and bunnies on the apples, the vendor and his son realized what we wanted, and looked throw their crates for ones with good pictures. The little boy was pretty excited to see us up close, but it wasn't anywhere near the crowd I could have drawn in Yantai.

I'm not sure what this one says -- although I think the second character is star -- but I'm going to pretend it says "For the most beautiful". I hope it doesn't start a war...

Foreigner Wanted.... For Something.

I noticed this job posting this morning. At first glance, it's a typical English tutoring job. There are hundreds of these in China, if you're foreign, you're literally offered English teaching jobs as you walk down the street. This ad poster is looking for a native speaker to meet up for decently-paid weekly ESL lessons. So far, normal.

It's hard to see in that screenshot, but I noticed the email address used.

I think that means something else.

No Trip To The Grocery Store Is Complete Without...

Cocoons.

Books I'm Reading

Last weekend when we went to the Beijing Bookstore, I got Age Of Innocence and Dr Zhivago from the Moonstone English classics series.

I really liked Age Of Innocence. Marcus, I think you should look for this one, although you'll probably want a different edition. The tragic love story is probably even better without substituting "impotent massage" for "important message." If anyone from Moonstone is reading this, can I suggest proofreading before publication? Even better, how about hiring me to proofread? It would bring me even closer to my lifelong goal of lying in bed all day, reading books.

As frustrating as all the scheduling surprises this week have been, I guess it's good that I've been busy because Dr. Zhivago is one depressing book. So far it goes funeral, suicide, rail strike... and I think if I keep on with it, it goes revolution, starvation, revolution.

Nightmarket Flowers

Oh, in case you saw the corner of that frame and thought it looked nice? It's actually a completed puzzle, of a girl talking to a dolphin. Really.

Yes

I've already talked about using "Yes" as a synonym for "I have no idea what you're saying". This entry from Tim Johnson's blog quotes a letter from a 1920s missionary in China, and shows that the ubiquitous Chinese yes is not a new trend.

Someone's Male Role Model

The other day, Stick was playing WarCraft, and I went out to run some errands. I'd somehow totally forgotten how China is for the single Western girl... I guess having Stick around cuts down on the catcalls. I was walking just outside our complex when about half a dozen men on bicycles came up behind me. They shouted the usual HELLO! and other less appropriate remarks, assuming that I don't understand the Chinese for baby got back! (But I taught middle school, I can pick the dirty words out of a conversation!)

As they passed me, I noticed that one of the bikes had a bright plastic babyseat attached to the back.

A Round Square?

I took this yesterday in Beihai Park. If that square is the character for "round", I officially give up on learning Chinese.

Stick's Lion Friend

WarCraft Cards

Stick and I really need a router.... right now only one of us can be on the internet at a time so we can't play WoW together. Also he can't play WoW very much because I am always blogging or doing ChinesePod! Poor boy. Friday night we made do with the WarCraft card game.

Meg Autonomous Region

When I said we'd be eating at the beef-noodle cafe again tonight, what I actually meant was that Stick and I would be getting some brie, Ritz crackers and Snickers bars! There's a grocery just a few blocks away that stocks all three, and I can't overstate how wonderful Western food can be. And we watched some of Season 3 Lost. My Chinese is improving every day, but it was nice to have an evening in the Meg Autonomous Region.

Peter Pan With Chinese Characteristics

Today I had my first lesson with my gifted kids. This was sprung on me in a typically Chinese fashion, it was once mentioned in passing that I'd be team-teaching English club with Christina. When I got the details a few hours before the class would begin, I found out there were actually 2 sections of the same class, and then one of the TAs asked me what I'd be doing for my class play. Class play? Oh yes, I'm meant to be writing one about some "traditional American folktales."

Um.

The whole thing went a lot better than my last school surprise, because if there's one thing I love doing with little kids, it's public humiliation skits! We played some games today, because I had nothing prepared, not being told that I was meant to writing a school play. It went very well, the kids are pretty good at English. Poor Christina isn't accustomed to the last-minute-ness of Chinese schools, so the whole thing was kind of an ordeal for her. The kids are a dream, though, very creative and excited. My assignment for Monday is convincing the rest of the English department that Peter Pan is a traditional American folktale.

Circle Time

Wee Ones

At our "meeting" the other day it was decided that the foreign teachers should observe our Chinese counterparts' classes. This is the kind of edict that makes me wonder if certain people in our school have ever seen children. So I went to my TA's class yesterday, and obviously, I caused a major disruption and the little kids were all over me! When I came in, they ran over and showed me what they were doing in their other textbooks, and what they drew in their notebooks, and one girl gave me a drawing she made, and so forth, but the lesson was kind of a wreck because the little ones kept turning around in their seats to wave and smile at me.

Street Vendor's Peppers

Beef Noodle Shop

Last night we went to a little restaurant a few blocks from the school. From the Arabic on the sign, and the lack of pork on the menu, it's probably a Muslim place. (This is always reassuring to me because they tend to have really clean kitchens, something that is not always part of the local-noodle-shop experience.)

Stick and I passed it during the day, and we brought Christina back there for dinner. At night, they set up those white plastic tables and chairs, and they have a keg. Yeah, a keg of cold beer. In China. Did I mention it was cold? We ordered three random styles of noodles. Mine was pretty good but as we sat there, we saw waiters bringing out other things that looked even better: other noodles, and fried rice, and peanuts, and some kind of kebabs. We'll probably be back tonight or tomorrow -- I'd say it's to try some of the other dishes, but it's really for the beer.

Stranglethorn Vale

New WoW article on Stranglethorn Vale is up on Azeroth World News, in case you're getting sick of me talking about China all the time.

Talk Like A Pirate... Everyday

So my wonderful friend Alison pointed out that September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Of course I plan to participate, but talking like a pirate is totally redundant in Beijing. Beijingers use all the Rs that Mass folks leave out. "Where?" is zai nali outside Beijing, but zai nRRR in Beijing. Our entrance is Xi men for non-Beijingren, but Xi muRRR to every cabbie who's brought us home.

If the secret to good Chinese is to speak faster and mumble more, the secret to the Beijing accent is talking like a pirate.

Don't Drink And Hop?

Stick's already gone to bed, but I just have to share this picture. It was on a bulletin board at school with a lot of drawings of training athletes and Olympic mascots. I'm still not sure what the drunken bunny has to do with the Olympics, but I won't be forgetting the character for booze anytime soon.

Stick's Fan Club

No Caption Necessary

Never A Dull Moment

I have more pictures to post, both from this weekend and school pictures, but just haven't had time. I had to wing some lessons in my deskless classroom, and then on break we had a surprise meeting about our roles as the foreign teachers! (I suppose I should be grateful that is was a surprise meeting and not a surprise observation, since my unplanned lessons resembled second-rate daycare more than ESL.)

The meeting was pretty basic, to be honest the disappearing desks are my only problem with the school. The kids are great. My TAs are both nice, and so what if they occasionally misrepresent their English as better than it is? Sometimes, when people speak Chinese to me, I understand some of the words and then guess what they're saying, so it really shouldn't bother me when my TAs do it.

The school supplies are fine too. If I ask for paper, most of the time I can get it. I even get blank A1-size paper sometimes. Once I got it BEFORE the start of class AND it was enough for all 25 students! I can also get markers and magnets for the board and colored paper and a ball.

It's a good school in general, it's just the "Surprise! Invent 40 minutes of games for 5-year-olds! Go!" that bothers me. I don't want to be the foreign dancing monkey, I'm a real teacher. I actually do have ideas about effective education, and Pop-Up and Alien Abduction on the fly are not part of it.

The highlight of the meeting was when we were told that we should submit the week's lesson plans to the TAs before Monday. If we want to print out the lessons, we need to submit them to the printing office a few days in advance of that day, so about a week in advance of actually teaching the material.

I suggested that it might be easier to plan lessons if we were told in advance when the desks would be removed in the middle of the night.

China is never boring.

Surprise! No Desks!

We were drinking coffee in the office this morning, just before my first class, when I asked my TA to make sure the kids had their markers today. I asked the kids to bring them yesterday, but they're only 5 so they forget.

"Oh, last night we took the desks out of the English room," my TA told me.

"What?" I asked.

"The English room is only for playing games now. No more desks."

"How can they color their letters!"

"You can play some English games."

I know I make it look completely effortless, but I secretly do put some thought into planning my lessons, and today's lesson plan did involve the use of chair and desks. Not only because I am an uninventive old stick-in-the-mud who believes in using a flat surface to teach writing, but because both "desk" and "chair" are unit 1 vocabulary words.

One problem with second-language English is that I say "And when were you planning on telling me this?" and they say "Yes". And besides, the answer was already clear.

Three minutes before first period was when they planned to tell me.

Gadget Addict

Gadgetaddict offers quite the array of tech toys, like remote-control cars or videogames. Some of them are the crazy toys like we just saw in that in-flight duty-free catalog, like the motorized inflatable bumper boat. I think it would be awesome, but I'd settle for the pool to put it in.

Rainbow Bridge By Night

Christina's awesome panoramic of the rainbow bridge.

(PS -- Eric, the Great Firewall seems to be preventing me from answering your comment, but Stick said the same thing when we saw it.)

Tienanmen Tourists

Yesterday, we decided to catch the bus into central Beijing and do a little exploring. It was touch-and-go whether we'd get out at the right bus stop, it seems that in Beijing, all the streets in the neighborhood are variations on the same name. We found ourselves at what seems to be the intersection of Fuxingmennan Dajie, Fuxingmennei Dajie, and Fuxingmenwei Dajie, but fortunately there's a giant rainbow bridge at the intersection. I recognized that bridge from the last time I was in Beijing, but that doesn't mean I knew where we were. It just means I can get back to the hostel where I stayed with my sister when she visited. Not exactly a major attraction.

We were told to take the subway but we decided to walk to Tienanmen from there. It's a bit of a hike, but we discovered the giant Beijing Bookstore and learned some new landmarks for our next adventure.

The flower displays for National Day were being built in Tienanmen. I saw them last year in their completed state, and they looked amazing. When you see the giant completed project, with all the flowers, and pools of water, it's hard to believe it's just a temporary installation. It's even more impressive to see the amount of work that goes into the flower displays. This is the frame for this year's Great Wall flower installation.

Working on the flowers.

I had a good time with the Tienanmen vendors, too. They can be pushy sometimes, but I feel like it's a bargaining game with them. I got some Fuwa charms, and I tried to help Christina bargain for a map, but the vendor accused me of learning Chinese to cheat her! (zuan... rip off, right?) Anyway, then a cop came by so the vendor quickly finished the transaction and disappeared into the crowd!

Housekeeping or Certain Death?

Most of the time, I can get around on my Chinese. I can read simple signs, I can ask basic questions, and I can recognize both foods I like and foods I won't touch on a menu. But sometimes, everyday things remind me that I'm really living in a non-English world.



A sign appeared next to our building's elevator the other day. I looked it over. I didn't see the "is forbidden" characters from a non-smoking sign, or the word for electricity, or the words for up and down, so I figured it was probably safe to get in. Probably. I mean, "elevator is broken," has to have some of those characters, right?

Street Market

Chinese Civilization

Immersion Chinese

We may have a new Juice Aunt in Beijing. Juice Aunt is the woman who sold bottled drinks outside my apartment in Yantai. She and various members of her family would be outside my house with their cart, all day, every day, which left Juice Aunt with lots of time to help me with my Chinese. It was a slow process, since she doesn't speak any English, but she was very patient with my "What do you call this? And this? And this?"

Her first claim to fame is yelling at me for spending too much money on water. I would buy a few bottles of water from Juice Aunt every night as I came home. Tap water isn't drinkable, so I'd get a bottle to drink and a bottle to make the morning's coffee. One day, Juice Aunt scolded me for spending so much money on little bottles when I could go to the supermarket and get one of those giant Poland Spring jugs!

The second time Juice Aunt scolded me was when Stick came to visit. She saw him leaving my apartment with me in the morning, and I got such an earful! I could only understand one word per sentence, but she made it pretty clear she did NOT approve of men spending the night! I told her he was my husband visiting from America, and she stopped scolding me.

Anyway, we found a little street market just outside the complex. I think our living situation is ideal. Our complex is really clean (I swear I am going to post pictures soon). Our neighbors are a little higher-class, a little more educated, so there's no staring like we're zoo animals and no bellowing "HULLOR!" as we walk to school or to the little market inside the neighborhood. Also, did I mention the clean? Can't overestimate the importance of clean.

Outside the super-clean neighborhood is real China. There's a street market, with one of those noodles-on-a-folding-table restaurants, a strange little toy store, the popcorn stand, all kinds of fruit vendors, sometimes a wandering pancake man, and a woman selling DVDs from a suitcase. She's got a good selection of English TV shows and she's extremely patient with my bad Chinese. The other night, she taught us some new words, and enlightened me a little on the great mystery of when to use le. (Completed actions, right? And, um, random other times?)

The English-language TV shows are great for making the apartment into a little American haven, and when we finish the first season of Heroes, it'll be time to learn some new Chinese words.

Pineapple Popcorn

We found this popcorn stand just outside our complex.

First, you pick your flavor. The possible flavors are pineapple, strawberry, some word I don't know and chocolate.

Popcorn lady puts sugar and butter and pineapple flavoring in a gas-powered popcorn popper.

Add popcorn...

Stick and our coworker Christina model the finished product, pineapple popcorn.

Rainbow Brite Halloween Costume

The guys at halloweenpartystore.com want you to know about their selection of Halloween costumes. I love dressing up, and I always go all-out -- you'll never catch me putting on half-hearted ears and saying "Oh, I'm a bunny."

HalloweenPartyStore has all the staples, like a prep school girl or a nurse, but who wants to look like the other girls at the party? I bet you'll be the only girl in this awesome grown-up Rainbow Brite costume.

Spreading Seeds?

Limited time tonight, so I'll just leave you with a picture of the least appropriate logo for a condom package. Stick says Trojans just as bad, what with the breached wall and destroyed city thing, but I say that even without classical knowledge one would find spreading seeds a pretty bad endorsement for condoms.

(Sorry for bad picture quality, I was trying to be stealthy.)

Chinese Copyright

Meg: Stick! Are you copying my colored-flowers lesson plan?

Stick: We're in China, there's no intellectual property.

It's Yellow Uniform Day?

The Holy Grail Of Cereal In China

This might not be too exciting for those of you in the US. The other day we went to meet up with fellow Americans in Beijing, Stephanie and Fred, and after greeting each other, Stephanie said "I looked at your Facebook, and where did you find that cereal?"

Teaching Little Ones

My first two days of classes were great, but also overwhelming. I have 6 classes of 25ish kindergartners per day. Fortunately I only work 3 days a week, oddly enough it's Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, which were the days I worked at LCC.

My classes are exhausting. I keep the kids entertained and alert by doing physical games and activities with them. I have the same level all 6 times, so my first class are guinea pigs, and by my last class I'm sick of looking at my flashcards.

Our director came to observe me yesterday, I was hanging colored-paper flowers on the wall while the kids called out what color it was, and when I turned around, there was Director Liong in the back row. Fortunately, he happened to stop by when I had a pretty good class and we were going an activity that got everyone excited. And he left before class ended so he didn't see the mass stampede out the door at the end of class, either.

It was a good lesson by American standards, but e I'm still a little worried because the Chinese expectations of teachers and ideas of education are so different from ours. So far, the director doesn't have the typical attitude that we can teach English by osmosis. (A lot of Chinese English schools believe English is a communicable disease spread by native speakers. We don't need books, school supplies, or advance notice of lessons, we just need to be in the same room. If only that worked, I would be speaking fluent Mandarin right now.)

The Chinese education system seems to be based on memorization, on being punished if your stroke order is wrong, and on trying to be top of the class. The American schools have freewriting about your feelings, spelling and grammar don't count. So we have Chinese graduates who have memorized advanced texts but who are unable to think creatively, while American graduates are problem-solvers who can't find the US on a world map. It seems like the two systems are completely at odds, but I really think that blending the strengths of each is the only way for the world to progress in science and technology.

At the end of the day, a huge crowd of parents and grandparents gathers at the gates of the school. The kids come out, meet their moms, and show what they did in school. I know it's a private school in a good neighborhood, and not necessarily a typical Chinese elementary school. It's really good to see that the parents are interested in their kids' education. I hope it means that if the children act up in class, their parents will care.

Anyway, teaching the little ones is extremely tiring, but I feel like I'm working for a reputable school (in a lovely neighborhood -- more on that later!).

Proper English Usage

We were told by the director to correct the students' English names on the first day of class. It wasn't too hard since my students are all named Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Rachel. (Apparently Chandler was just a little too hard) I did have a couple laughable names but when I suggested to the Chinese TAs that Flower, Yummy, Elven and all three boys named Dick might consider new names, the TAs seemed to take it as an attack. So I dropped it, with one exception. The only name I insisted upon changing was Fanny. If you don't know why, ask a Brit.

My Office

I told Stick the apostrophe makes it mine, but for some reason his desk is there too.

First Day Of School, Part 2

First Day Of Classes

Post Office

Related posts: The same post office in March, 2008.

Mandarin Again

So far, Beijing still feels like Wonkaland, but I kind of love being in Wonkaland. I'm having huge issues with the language, though.

Since this summer, I've been doing ChinesePod lessons, which I would totally recommend to anyone trying to learn Mandarin. They're much shorter than typical language tapes like Pimsleur, so I don't feel like I'm devoting an hour of my life to fighting the unforgiving tones. Also it's easy to find a lesson by topic, so if you just want to work in ordering food, you don't have to sit through a whole "Hello, I am an American. What's your name?" dialogue.

I'm also doing a basic radicals writing book. I like it because the author gives some background on each character so they don't seem like random squiggles (I know, I know, foreigners like me should just go home), and there's a little story to help remember the character. It's difficult though because the simplest characters to draw are not necessarily the most common or the most useful.

So I can speak survival-level Chinese and recognize simple characters, but I can't usually say and write the same character.

Hot Water

Our shower doesn't have a hot tap. I'm including a photo from the shower so you don't think I'm exaggarating. See that green dial? That's for water. Not hot or cold water, not more or less water. Just a choice between Taking a Shower or Not Taking a Shower. If you want to change the temperature, you can go out of the bathroom, across the living room and out on the clothes-drying balcony to adjust how much gas goes into the water heater.




You can also turn on two heat lamps on the ceiling over the shower. (Again -- here's a picture for the unconvinced!) The switches for the heat lamps are located outside the bathroom. The way to activate them is to shout over to your girlfriend that you're cold. The heat lamps get warm fast, and warm the whole bathroom. It makes me feel like one of Kristine's reptiles and amphibians in their heated tanks. A turtle in particular, because the bathroom also has that Beijing plumbing smell that my sister called "turtle tank."

A fair trade for Herbal Essences, if you ask me.

The Real Reason I Came Back To China

You'd Have Thought The Same Thing

They took Stick's toothpaste away before they'd let us on the plane, but we got more toothpaste easily at a shop near our new place.

But last night before bed I was simultaneously wondering why the toothpaste tasted funny and noticing that the character on the tube looked awfully like the character for "tea." Turns out those cute little green leaves weren't mint after all.

At least it really was toothpaste and not, say, suntan lotion.

En Route

So, when we got on the plane in Newark, the baggage guy took our suitcases and said "Mexico City, Ms. Diaz?" and I laughed because he was holding our boarding passes, so I thought he was kidding -- also because airport security is known for their senses of humor and cordial dispositions -- but Stick stopped him before he actually stickered our bags for Mexico.

Six Pomegranate Seeds

It's odd to see ads for new movies, and know that we'll be buying them as cheap DVDs in China. It's even weirder to think of all the other things I'll miss. I'm sad that I'll be emailing congratulations for all the engagements, weddings and new babies in the next year. (Fortunately Tryon and Katie had an extra-long engagement so I could go to the wedding!) Disappearing for long periods of time has changed my hang-out-all-the-time college crowd into email friends.

I felt like this right before I went to China last time, but I was trying not to. I felt like I had to defend my decision to go to Yantai for a year, and it was too hard to admit that I had some mixed feelings. I'm excited going back to China -- and bringing Stick! -- but I'm still heartbroken about everything I'm missing at home.

I knew I shouldn't have eaten those pomegranate seeds.

Meg's Résumé

Meg Stivison

MeganLouise@gmail.com

Gaming Culture and Commentary

MMORPGs and Relationships at WomanGamers.com 10/16/06

"Hi-Tech, Low-Stress Game Date", Bleech Magazine, Summer 2007

World Of DateCraft on Online Dating Insider 11/15/07

Multiplayer Games on 15 Minute Date Blog 8/03/07

Chinese Heroes: A New Altruism Videogame on Killer Betties 11/22/06

Chinese Videogames Fight Corruption on Killer Betties 8/03/07

Montezuma's Revenge on Faster Than The World, January 2007

Princess Diaries on Faster Than The World, April 2007

Related Fiction

Ironforge: The Dwarven Paradise for Azeroth World News 7/18/07

Letter To The Editor: Proper Etiquette Never Goes out of Fashion for Azeroth World News 8/15/07

Stranglethorn Vacation for Azeroth World News 9/7/07

Toothless Mountain Men

New piece on the Toothless Mountain Men up at Azeroth World news. My first in-game interview and it includes virtual cow-tipping!

Random Guy at the Chinese Consulate.

Told him I like the shirt + asked if he wanted to be internet famous!

PS I got our visas today!